I have a dear old daddy, for whom I nightly pray,
He has a set of whiskers that are always in the way.

Chorus:
Oh they’re always in the way, the cows eat them for hay,
They hide the dirt on Daddy’s shirt, they’re always in the way.

Father had a strong back, now it’s all caved in,
He stepped upon his whiskers and walked up to his  chin.

(Chorus)

We have a dear old mother; with him at night she sleeps,
She wakes up in the morning eating shredded wheat.

(Chorus)